Dear Sam
by Sairs J
Summary: "Dear Sam,  You're probably never going to read this..."     A glimpse at their relationship through Andy's eyes.
1. Chapter 1

_This is set about five years in the future. It's probably going to be three parts maximum._

_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Rookie Blue, I've just borrowed them for a while!_

_~88~88~88~_

_Dear Sam_

_Chapter 1_

_~88~88~88~_

Sam reached up to the top shelf of the closet, he grabbed the handles of the bag he needed and began to pull it down. As it jerked forward it knocked a box that had been resting beside it on the shelf to the floor. He dropped the bag to the ground and knelt down to pick up the box. He ran his hand over the lid and smiled, it was Andy's box. He had seen her many times putting it back on the shelf; her face always had the same faraway look on it. He had never asked her about what she kept in it, knowing that whatever it was, if she wanted to tell him she would, but if she didn't then that was fine too. He couldn't help but look at it, balanced in his hands, his eyes studying the swirling patterns that decorated the outside of it. He knew he shouldn't look, but whatever was inside might have been damaged by the fall and he'd hate to think that Andy would find its precious contents broken.

Slowly he walked over to the bed and perched on the edge, the bag he'd originally wanted was forgotten. His attention was now entirely focused on the box. He was lost in an internal battle about whether he should break her trust and look inside. His fingers played with the edge of the box before he finally gave in, promising himself he would only peep to check that everything inside was intact.

Slowly he lifted the lid, he wasn't sure what he had expected to find inside, but it certainly wasn't a box full of envelopes. He took the lid off completely and placed it next to him on the bed, he flicked his fingers through the stack of envelopes; each one had his name written on the front in Andy's familiar scrawl and a small number in the corner. He couldn't help but let his fingers move backwards and forwards across the tops of the envelopes wondering why Andy had written to him without ever showing him.

Puzzled he continued to stare at the box, as his fingers moved back for the third time he slowly picked up the first envelope, it was addressed to him, he reasoned as his fingers ran along the edge of the envelope's flap. He needed to know what Andy had found so important to write to him, but never share with him.

He sighed, his heart pounding in his chest as he slowly lifted the flap, tentatively pulling the carefully folded piece of paper from the envelope. He unfolded it and began to read…

_Dear Sam,_

_You're probably never going to read this, but I needed to write this down, to share with someone all the things that swim in my head. I'm not very good at sharing my thoughts, but somehow you're quite good at reading me, guess it's all of the hours we've spent together on patrol. You always know when I'm over thinking something before I even realise it. Somewhere along the line you became the one person in the world who knows me, who really understands me. Until I met you I never even knew that there would be someone who gets me like you do._

_You might exasperate me at times and drive me to distraction but I can't imagine my life without you in it. You're my anchor; you keep me grounded in this crazy world that we live in, that we choose to protect. You've become the one person who I can truly rely on._

_As our relationship changed, I realised just how important you are to me. I can't imagine not waking up with you in the morning, or arguing with you, or watching you sleep. You're the person that changed my life and sometimes I'm not very good at telling you how I feel, but then neither are you, but know one thing I love you._

_You really enjoy telling anyone who'll listen that I was the one who ruined your eight months undercover, at first that really infuriated me, but now I can laugh because if I hadn't chased you and 'tried to kiss you' we probably wouldn't be where we are now. We wouldn't have the chance to be 'normal' well what's normal for us!_

_I've written these for me and maybe one day I'll share them with you. _

_Love always,_

_Andy_

Sam reread the letter, her words settling in his mind. He smiled, even after all of the time they'd been together, communication about the really important things was still something they were working on.

A cry from across the hallway disturbed his thoughts; he placed the letter on top of the box and quickly dropped the box on the bed as he hurried towards the source of the cry.

He opened the door and hurried over to the crib, where Lily stood balanced on her chubby legs resting against the side of the crib, her hands held up towards her father, "Dada," she cried; her face wet with tears.

He reached in and lifted her into his arms, he smiled as she instantly snuggled into his body; her head nestling against neck; he rubbed reassuring circles on her back and began to talk quietly to her.

"Mama?" Lily asked, her voice mumbled against his neck.

"Ssh, Lily," he cooed, "Mommy can't come now," his voice hitched as his mind briefly allowed him to remember where Andy was.

"Mama," Lily's little voice echoed in the silence.

He walked over to the rocking chair that he'd restored for the nursery when they'd found out Andy was pregnant and lowered himself into it, gently adjusting Lily, so that he could look into her sleepy brown eyes. He rubbed his fingertips gently across her face and slowly began to rock back and forth, just like he'd seen Andy do hundreds of times before. Quietly he began to sing the song he'd heard Andy sing, hoping that it would be enough to settle Lily.

Finally after what seemed like an eternity Lily's eyes began to grow heavy and slowly they fluttered closed. He looked at her relaxed face and he could see Andy's face reflected in his daughter's, she also was as stubborn as his wife. Satisfied that she was soundly asleep he carefully rose to his feet and carried her back to her crib. Gently settling her back into her bed, covering her with her comforter, he stood and watched her, his heart aching that Andy was missing this.

He didn't know how long he stood there watching her sleep, but it was something he'd found himself doing more and more since…

He couldn't bring himself to think about it, the moment where his world had changed. The moment when Oliver had knocked on his door, a look etched on his face that had shattered Sam's world. That had shattered Lily's world too. The moment Oliver had told him that Andy had been hurt. That had been nearly a month ago and since that moment their lives had changed.

Satisfied that Lily wasn't going to wake up, he returned to their bedroom; to the box that was sitting on their bed. He perched on the edge and lifted the next envelope out of the box, reverently running his fingers over Andy's handwriting.

Desperately needing the connection with her he slipped the letter out of the envelope and began to read.

_Dear Sam,_

_I don't know when I realised that I loved you; it sort of snuck up on me. It caught me off guard, you caught me off guard. For years I thought I'd perfected keeping people out of my heart because if I let them in they had the power to hurt me. My Mom shattered my life, abandoning me, leaving me behind without saying goodbye. Then my Dad abandoned me to find comfort in the bottom of a bottle. As I watched him drink his life away, drink my life away, I made a promise that I would never let anyone hurt me like that again. The only way to protect myself was to keep everyone at a safe distance… _

_So I picked the wrong men, knowing that I'd never let them in enough to hurt me. That I could walk away at anytime and keep my heart protected. Then I thought I was grown up enough to handle the safe option – Luke. Well you know how that turned out! I thought he was the decent guy, the right one, who'd never hurt me, because he was supposedly predictable. He had everything mapped out, his career, what he wanted out of life and I thought that he'd stick to that plan and I'd just fit in. Know where I stood and live in the safety of that plan. But along the line I realised that safe was not what I wanted or needed, I needed more out of life and I guess he did too, because he found Jo._

_But I'm pleased that he did, because that made me think about what I wanted and who was there for me._

_I think that was the turning point in my life, when I realised that I was ready. Ready for what had been staring me in the face for two years, taunting me, teasing me and pointing out all of my flaws, but always had my back. I was ready to trust you with more than my life. I was ready to trust you with my heart._

_Just when I get to that point, what do you go and do? You leave me! My greatest fear, but I survived, praying that you would come back to me. Praying that I would get the chance to tell you how I felt, how that I wanted to risk my heart, to finally risk everything for you. Then I got the opportunity with Traci and I couldn't believe it when I saw you sitting in that bar. It took all my self control to try and hold everything together. I couldn't blow another one of your undercover operations._

_Managing not to blow my cover led to one of the best nights of my life and quite a few more with J.D. The choice we made in that moment also led to one of the most awful times of my life. When I thought I'd lost you. When I thought I'd gotten you killed. I couldn't believe that I'd been so stupid to risk your life, put you in danger. I should have walked away, stayed away after that night, but once I'd let myself be with you, there was never a chance I could walk away from you. You completed me._

_Sitting in that car with Pete, knowing that you were in that house in God knows what state felt like an eternity. My stomach was churning, my heart pounding in my chest praying that I would see you walk out of that building._

_Then you did and my world righted itself. I wanted to throw myself into your arms, to check every inch of you, to touch you. But I couldn't. That was one of the hardest moments in my life. Standing there, looking at you, but not being able to touch you. _

_I remember your eyes the way they met mine, you reassured me that you were okay with that look, that everything would be okay, but I didn't know if I could believe you. I messed up and I was willing to take any punishment I was given because it was worth it since I'd put you at risk. I'd been selfish._

_Frank's speech in his office reiterated everything I'd been feeling; compromising the operation, putting your life at risk, my own as well. At the time I'd never really considered what we were risking, because it felt so right. But looking back we were lucky you made it, because I know I couldn't live without you. _

_When I walked out of the Division that night, wrapped up in my coat against the cold winter's chill, I was ready to go home and drown my sorrows in ice-cream, not pistachio, but double choc chip! But then you pulled up beside me and told me that you'd been suspended too. I couldn't help but look at you as you talked to me, reassuring myself that you were okay, that you would be okay. That maybe one day you'd forgive me for being so stupid. But then you asked me if I wanted to try to be normal with you and that's when I knew you'd forgiven me. The problem was; what was normal for us? We had plenty of fun finding that out, didn't we?_

_That night was the beginning of something that I'd only ever dreamed about as a child. That chance at having the happily ever after, well it might not be like the fairy tales that I read Lily, but we got our chance and for that I'm more than grateful. We make a pretty good team, but we also have some pretty spectacular disagreements, but the making up part is always fun!_

_You gave me something that I thought I'd never have after my Mom left; you gave me a family again. _

_Thank you, Sam, you showed me what being loved is really like and I hope I show you how much I love you too._

_Love always,_

_Andy._

Sam looked at the letter the words blurring as his eyes watered, he rubbed angrily at them with his fingers, he was angry with her, angry that she had abandoned him, abandoned Lily. Why wasn't she fighting harder to come back to them? He was still struggling with the fact that she was lying in a hospital bed, connected to machines, in a coma and maybe she would never wake up. Her bruises were beginning to fade and she looked more like Andy, fast asleep, her face peaceful in slumber. But she wasn't asleep; if she was asleep the tender kisses he placed on her forehead would cause her to stir. The sound of Lily's pleas would wake her instantly, but as he sat there every day by her bed, all he could do was talk to her and pray that she would hear him and fight to come back to him.

He didn't know how much longer he could hold everything together. Their friends had been there every step of the way, helping with Lily, collecting groceries, sitting with Andy when he couldn't. Tommy and Sarah had been there for them too. But he didn't want his friends or family, he wanted Andy. It was as if he was missing something, a part of himself that he couldn't live without. He was missing her.

He leaned forward and rested his head in his hands, in the month since Andy was hurt he'd shed more tears than he had in his entire lifetime. Tears for Andy; tears for himself and tears for Lily. He hoped that Lily wouldn't have to live without her mother, because that was something Andy would hate.

"Andy," he said quietly to the room, his voice cracked with emotion.

He rubbed his eyes with his fists before plucking another envelope from the box, suddenly realising he'd found a treasure that he hadn't even known had existed before that night. He'd found a way of seeing into Andy's thoughts in a way he'd never been privileged to before. He knew that she would understand; that he needed this now, needed to feel that he was connected to her.

Quickly he pulled the next letter from the envelope and hungrily began to read her thoughts.

_Dear Sam,_

_Normal! What a joke! Ordinary or usual! Us, no way! I don't think we will ever be normal in the true sense of the word, but we did find our own normal. Normal for us is long heated looks across a room, arguments that probably sound horrific to outsiders and long loaded silences before we make up. I don't think I've ever told you how much I enjoy making up. _

_Looking back I think Lily is the result of us making up after I stupidly acted without thinking at work and ended up being held hostage. When I finally got out of that room, my hair matted in the cut on my forehead, the look you gave me was more intense than I'd ever seen before. It made my stomach churn with a mixture of fear and love and my heart pounded in my chest._

_I couldn't meet your gaze, choosing instead to look at the floor as Oliver led me away from you to the waiting ambulance. I didn't have the strength to argue about going to the hospital, I didn't want you to be any more disappointed in me than you already were. I'd acted foolishly and we'd both paid the price. _

_I can't bear to think of what I put you through that day. Although I think I can imagine, Traci and Oliver certainly alluded to how you were when I was in that room with him when they talked to me later. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to put you through the agony of watching, waiting and praying. All I can do is promise to try and avoid situations like that again._

_When I got to the hospital and the doctor checked me over and announced that I wasn't too worse for wear, your face washed with relief briefly before being replaced with the look that would have caused me to wither if I'd been a rookie. But being your wife, I knew what it meant. It meant that you were angry with me, angry because you loved me and I'd put what we had at risk. It's a look I don't ever want to see on your face again, because it broke my heart._

_After I was released from the hospital, I sat next to you in the truck and you didn't say a word to me. The atmosphere in that cab was so thick; it could almost have been cut with a knife. You glanced at me occasionally but you refused to meet my gaze. I knew that it wasn't the time to talk to you; I would have to wait you out. Wait for you to calm down. Do you know when you're cross with me you rub the bridge of your nose with your fingers? Well that night, I'm sure you left two tiny marks on your nose where you kept rubbing it. I checked later that night, when you'd finally let me apologise to you. I tentatively ran my fingertips along your nose before following with my lips and I tried to kiss the pain away._

_That night you held me tighter in your arms than ever before, it was almost as if you were afraid that I would disappear. I relished being in your arms that night, you showed me how much you loved me and I hoped I showed you too. I fell asleep snuggled in your embrace, my arms wrapped tightly around you, thanking God that I'd been able to come back to you, you were the reason I never had nightmares about that day. You made me feel safe, loved and lucky to be alive. _

_I love you, Sam and Lily is lucky to have you as a father._

_Love always,_

_Andy._

Sam remembered the day Andy had been held hostage by Jack Thompson as clear as it was yesterday. He'd arrived as one of several cruisers who'd replied to Oliver's call for assistance. Sam's heart had pounded in his chest as he'd parked the cruiser outside the building. He'd virtually jumped out of the car before it had fully stopped and hurried towards Oliver, who held his hands out, literally stopping him in his tracks.

The look on Oliver's face had caused his stomach to churn and his heart to thunder in his chest. He'd asked Oliver where Andy was.

Oliver had glanced over his shoulder, before saying quietly, "She's in there. He took her before I could stop him."

If it had been anyone else other than Oliver, Sam probably would have lashed out without thinking. But he knew that Oliver would have tried to protect Andy, he trusted him with her. He had every shift since he'd married her. It hadn't been Oliver's fault and although he'd been angry with her at the time, when he'd held her in his arms that night, he realised that she'd just been doing her job. Maybe she hadn't made the best decision in the heat of the moment, but she had survived and come back to him. For that he'd instantly forgiven her.

That had been nearly three years earlier. She'd managed to keep out of harms way for nearly three years. Then her luck had run out, their luck had run out.

The sound of the phone ringing cut through the silence. He quickly reached out and plucked it up from the bedside table at the same time pressing the call answer button, "Hello?" he asked quietly.

"Mr. Swarek?" A woman's voice asked.

"Yes, this is Mr. Swarek."

"I'm calling from the hospital," she stated.

Sam's stomach constricted, "Andy?"

* * *

><p><em>Please let me know what you think. Have a great day ~ Sairs<em>


	2. Chapter 2

_I am amazed by all of the reviews, alerts and favourites this story has achieved so far! Thank you, it really means a lot._

_I hope you enjoy the next part. _

_Have a great day wherever you are._

_Sairs_

_~88~88~88~_

_Dear Sam_

_Chapter 2_

_~88~88~88~_

Sam paced back and forth in the living room waiting for Traci to arrive; he needed to get to the hospital. He'd checked on Lily and she was still sleeping, she wouldn't realise he had left her. He glanced at his watch, how long could it take for Traci to get there?

The sound of the doorbell halted his pacing and he hurried towards it, virtually throwing it open, relief flowing through him as he saw Traci on his doorstep, he stood to one side and watched as she rushed in, her face etched with concern. "Is Andy okay?" she asked as she undid her coat.

Sam shook his head, "They said I needed to get there…" his voice cracked, his eyes lowered to the floor as he tried to gather himself together.

Traci stepped forward and placed her hand tentatively on his arm, stilling him, "Jerry's waiting in his car for you, let him drive. I'll be with Lily for as long as you need me to be." She waited for him to look at her, when he did her heart ached, he looked completely broken, she needed to reassure him somehow, so she said what she hoped would turn out to be the truth, "Andy will be okay, Sam. She's a fighter."

Sam nodded desperately wanting to believe Traci's words, "Thanks. Lily's asleep, she woke up a couple of hours ago, she wanted…" he paused wanting to say Andy's name, "But she's asleep now. I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Go, be with Andy. Lily will be fine. Tell Andy we miss her."

"I will," He looked at her, "Thanks, Traci."

She shook her head, "That's what friends are for, now go," she waved her hands at him in an attempt to shoo him out of the door.

~88~88~88~

Sam walked up to the nurses' station and tapped his fingers nervously on the counter as he impatiently waited for the nurse to look up from her notes. Finally she looked up from her paperwork and smiled.

"I'm Mr. Swarek, you called about my wife…" he paused; his fingers gripping the edge of the counter in an attempt to steady himself; his legs were threatening to falter. He waited for her to smile, hoping that the reason he'd been summoned was good news, but, when the smile never arrived, he suddenly found himself preparing for the worst.

"If you take a seat in the family waiting room, the doctor will be through to speak to you," She replied, her voice calm not giving Sam any indication why he'd been summoned to the hospital.

He nodded and headed towards the family waiting room; he entered the brightly decorated room and walked over to one of the well worn and battered chairs, where he slowly lowered himself into it. He leaned forward resting his head in his hands. Waiting, he hated that, but that was all he'd done in the last month was wait. Wait and pray.

"Mr. Swarek?" A voice asked from the doorway.

Sam looked up to see the doctor standing in the doorway, "Is Andy…" his voice broke; he couldn't articulate what he was dreading.

The doctor walked towards him a reassuring smile on her face, "She's still holding in there, but we've noticed a few changes."

"Changes?" Sam asked; his voice hopeful.

"There's been a little more activity with her brainwaves. As a result we're going to alter her medication, maybe the alteration to her meds will help her wake up."

"Maybe?" Sam had hoped for more than maybes.

The doctor perched on the edge of the coffee table so that she could look at him, "We can't guarantee anything. As we've explained your wife suffered a severe concussion and that in conjunction with her other injuries led us to inducing the coma originally. But…"

"She should have woken up by now," Sam supplied.

The doctor nodded, "But everyone's different and there's still a lot we don't know about brain injuries. However, the changes we've seen in her status seem promising."

Sam looked at her, "Is there anything I can do?"

"Just what you have been, talk to her and let her know you're there for her," she noticed the look of pain that crossed his face. "I know it's hard, but don't give up hope."

He shook his head, "I'm not giving up hope… I could never!" He spluttered furiously, he inhaled deeply in an attempt to calm himself, "I need her," he shrugged.

"Mr. Swarek, I wish I could offer you more, but we need to be optimistic, these changes show an increase in brainwave activity, which is a positive sign. But I can't guarantee that she'll wake up."

Sam nodded resignedly, "Can I go and sit with her?"

"Of course, Mr. Swarek. If you need to ask me anything else, ask the nurse at the desk to page me," she reached forward and briefly patted the back of his hand before standing and leaving the room.

Sam dragged his fingers through his hair and rested them at the back of his neck briefly before standing. Silently thanking God that there was still hope. Still hope that he'd see her smile, hear her voice; watch her cradle Lily in her arms again.

He walked towards Andy's room, pausing briefly in the doorway before walking over to her bed, leaning over to place a kiss on her forehead; he pulled back, watching for any sign of recognition across her face. Nothing. He sighed before sitting in the chair that was positioned by her bed, he gently grasped her hand in his, rubbing small circles on the back of her hand with his thumb.

~88~88~88~

The sun shone through the window, its warmth waking Sam from his uncomfortable slumber, he slowly opened his eyes, hoping that he'd find himself in his bed, Andy wrapped in his arms. But as he took in his surroundings his heart sank, he realised where he was, in Andy's hospital room, surrounded by machines. He leaned forward and looked at Andy, she looked so peaceful.

"Andy," he started; his voice thick with sleep, "I have a confession, I looked in your box." He watched her intently, hoping that his revelation would cause some reaction, but after a few moments he knew that she wasn't going to react.

He leaned back into the chair and reached into his coat pocket, pulling out the remaining envelopes. They were no longer in pristine condition, but slightly bent on the edges, he placed them on her bedside table, after staring at them for a while; he finally relented and picked up the top envelope. He carefully opened it, sliding the letter out; he dropped the envelope into his lap and began to read.

_Dear Sam,_

_When I was small I imagined that my wedding day would be like a fairy princess' with a white billowy dress, flower girls dressed in pink and all the other traditional expectations, but in reality the real thing was much better!_

_Walking down the aisle, holding Dad's arm was nerve-wracking until I saw you. You turned from Oliver and looked down the aisle, your eyes meeting mine and in that moment every uncertainty and nerve flew away, replaced with excitement and happiness at the opportunities our future held. When you held my hand and we said our vows, making promises that we've worked hard at keeping every day since, I knew I'd made the right choice. I never wanted or needed anyone else in my life as much as I want and need you. I love being Mrs. Swarek, even if I'm still Officer McNally at work._

_Guess we made our own kind of normal that day, when we were all suddenly recalled to duty because of a terrorist threat, I don't think the Fifteenth has ever witnessed a bride and groom hurrying into the locker rooms to get changed back into their uniforms. At least when the threat had passed we were still able to celebrate with our friends, maybe not the way we'd planned. But I wanted to tell you it was perfect, because the people we care about and who care about us were there._

_Our honeymoon was pretty great too, a trip to merry old England. Although I don't think the Metropolitan Police Department were too impressed when we apprehended a pick pocket in the Tower of London. Guess there still needs to be work made on international police links! But Stratford- upon- Avon, now that's a pretty town, with its crooked houses full of wooden beams steeped with history; and the lovely river, I didn't realise you didn't like ducks, but the English ones certainly seem to like you, a lot! I can still see you flapping your arms and jumping around as they swamped you on the river bank hoping that you'd brought them some bread. Guess you really are a city boy at heart._

_What I remember most about our honeymoon though, was just being with you. I enjoyed watching you smile and laugh at the things we saw. When you looked at me with your deep brown eyes, you caused my stomach to flutter. What made me happiest was knowing that I was going to be able to see you like that for the rest of my life. Do you realise during those two weeks, I don't think we argued once! Must be a new record for us, perhaps it was the novelty of being married, but I enjoyed every moment there. Perhaps we'll take Lily when she's older?_

_Being married to you is one of the best decisions I ever made. We may have to work at it and it might not be easy, and you always said 'we make a pretty good team', but I think we make a pretty awesome team!_

_Love always,_

_Andy_

Sam smiled as he remembered their honeymoon, her reaction when he'd told her they were going to England had been priceless, she'd bounced on her heels and then threw herself into his arms. That evening had been a very tiring, but enjoyable one.

He hoped that they would get the opportunity to take Lily to England; she'd love seeing the toys in Hamleys toy store, Buckingham palace, they'd just have to try and stay out of trouble. But then Andy had always been a magnet for trouble.

"Andy," he said quietly, "Watching you in England, trying to make one of the sentry guards outside Buckingham palace move was one of the funniest things I've ever seen. He must have been made from stone, because he didn't even flinch when you poked your tongue out at him, very mature, I must say. Your letters have reminded me of what we've done together, but also how you see the world, see us. I'm amazed Andy." He stood up and looked at her, she looked so peaceful and relaxed, "I love you, Andy," he leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

~88~88~88~

The sound of the regular beeps of the machines was the only noise that surrounded him, he'd called home and spoken to Traci, who assured him that Lily was fine and she was having a great time finger painting in the kitchen. He just hoped that Lily wasn't finger painting the kitchen like the last time she'd been let loose with paints when he'd been in charge. Andy had not been impressed to find her daughter and husband covered in rainbow colours; she had been even less impressed when she found child sized handprints on the walls in the kitchen. It had taken a lot of cleaning, child and kitchen and a romantic dinner before she'd forgiven him. He chuckled; as he thought of the look on her face when she'd walked in on them. It was one of those moments he'd wished he'd been able to capture on film, because to him it was perfect.

When he'd first started his career he had loved the thrill of being on patrol and then working undercover. He'd had relationships, but they'd never been anything serious. Having a family had never entered his mind. He had never envied Oliver, enjoying being alone and making his own choices, that was until he met Andy. It hadn't been a conventional first meeting, but it had been the start of something that had changed his life forever and had given him something he couldn't bear losing. He had never imagined he would have been lucky enough to have a wife and child, a family. But Andy had given him that and so much more.

He returned to Andy's room and sat on the edge of her bed, gently picking up her hand, looking at it intently, he squeezed it gently, enjoying the warmth and the contact with her. He moved his eyes to look at her, "Andy, if you can hear me, wake up, please." He rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand as he spoke, "Lily needs her Mommy and I…" his voice cracked, as he swallowed the lump that settled at the back of his throat, "I need you, Andy. I can't do this without you. I can't be everything that Lily needs; I don't want to spend the rest of my life without you. So please, fight to come back to us. I'm tired of waiting, Andy." He released her hand, letting it drop by her side. Slowly he slid himself up the bed and managed to lie beside her, resting his head on the pillow next to her head. He glanced over at the remaining envelopes and selected another. Hoping that whatever was inside would help him to forget for a moment the pain that filled his heart.

_Dear Sam,_

_Lily, what can I say about our daughter, she's the most precious gift you ever gave me. I'll admit she was a shock, something we hadn't planned or expected, but I can't imagine my life without her now. When I look at her, she reminds me of you, especially when she smiles, her dimples are just like yours. And if her dimples affect men like the way your dimples affect me, we're in for trouble!_

_I remember the look of awe and wonder on your face when I showed you the test, I'd been feeling awful and it was Traci who suggested I should take a pregnancy test. It never even occurred to me that I could be pregnant, we had decided to wait, but I guess the world as usual had other plans for us. When your look of awe disappeared and was replaced with the biggest smile I'd ever seen I knew we were going to be okay, I was going to be okay, because I knew you'd be there for me every step of the way. And you were._

_You kept me grounded when I panicked, I didn't think I would ever cope with being a Mom. I had been abandoned by my mother and I didn't think I could ever be a good mother, but you eased that fear. You reassured me and let me know that we were in this together, just like we had been partners at work, partners in marriage, we were going to be partners in parenthood too. And I think we're doing a pretty good job so far, although we've had a steep learning curve!_

_I'm going to take this opportunity to apologise for what I said and did when I was in labour, I wasn't exactly in the right frame of mind and I needed someone to blame for the pain and I'm sorry you took the brunt of it. The look on your face when I squeezed your hand and you assured me it was okay wanted to make me laugh; I noticed the bruise the next day. _

_I also want to thank you for putting up with me those seven long months after we discovered I was pregnant. The morning, well all day sickness, my mood swings and my moaning. But I don't think you minded my need to be with you Sam, although I think we were pushing it in the interview room that day. I'm sure Frank realised what we had been up to, but fortunately turned a blind eye!_

_But I shall never forget the look that crossed your face when you held Lily for the first time, the look of complete love as you looked down at her tiny little face as you cradled her in your arms. You also looked completely and utterly petrified, I'll let you into a little secret I felt exactly the same way. We were suddenly responsible for that tiny little life and even though we'd read every single book and attended parenting classes, it suddenly made me realise that our little girl truly relied on us. I was beginning to panic, then you looked at me and you smiled, the dazzling smile that always makes my heart soar and I knew then that we'd be okay. And we are._

_I might have said that Lily was it for us, but I've been thinking I didn't enjoy being an only child and seeing you with Sarah makes me think that Lily deserves a brother or sister. So maybe in the future I could be persuaded to expand our family._

_With you Sam I know I can achieve anything. We might not choose the easy option in life, but I think that whatever life throws at us we can handle it together. Even when Lily goes on her first date, I'll be there holding your hand, reassuring you that our little girl will be fine. She will always be, because she has you for her father, she's the luckiest girl in the world._

_Love always,_

_Andy_

Sam looked down at his wife and sighed, she still hadn't stirred; maybe the changes to her medication wouldn't make the difference they'd hoped for. Maybe his future was to sit by her bed, hoping and praying that she would wake up.

He glanced at his watch, "Andy, I need to go. Traci will probably need to be rescued from Lily by now and maybe our kitchen too. She's been finger painting. Sleep well and please wake up in the morning." He carefully extricated himself from Andy's side, gently pulling himself to his feet. Standing by her side he tenderly brushed her hair from her forehead, before leaning in and placing a gentle kiss on her lips. "I love you, Andy," he said as he gently rubbed his nose against hers, in a move that had become something they shared just between them. "Please wake up, I need you and Lily does too," he swept another kiss over her lips, he then stepped back, looking at her once more before grabbing his coat, picking up the remaining envelopes and gently placing them back in his coat pocket.

Satisfied there was nothing else he could do that evening he walked out of her room, to go home back to their daughter. He didn't notice that he'd left a letter on the edge of her bed, next to her hand.

~88~88~88~

Andy's room was quiet except for the regular beep of the machines. Unnoticed Andy's fingers moved slowly, stretching and contracting, a slight sound of crumpling as her fingers pushed the paper of the letter into her mattress.

~88~88~88~

_Please let me know what you think. _

_The next part should be up hopefully over the weekend._


	3. Chapter 3

_Once again I've been absolutely blown away with the reviews, alerts and favourites this story has received. I do truly appreciate them all, it helps my muse to work! :)_

_I hope you have a fabulous weekend wherever you are. I'm now enjoying Season two, which is finally airing in the UK... Sunday nights are now the highlight of my week!_

_Sairs_

_~88~88~88~_

_Dear Sam_

_Chapter 3_

_~88~88~88~_

When Sam returned home Lily was sitting in the middle of the living room floor surrounded by toys, dressed in her pyjamas.

"Dada!" she exclaimed as she saw him; she quickly pulled herself to her feet and trotted over. She grabbed his legs and then peered around them, "Mama?" she asked hopefully.

Sam's heart broke a little more at the sound of his daughter's voice, he quickly bent down and scooped her up, "Mommy's still sleeping," he told her, looking into her inquisitive brown eyes.

Lily sighed before snuggling against him; he automatically began to rub small circles on her back with his hand.

"Hey," Traci said as she walked into the living room from the kitchen.

Sam smiled tiredly, "Thanks for today, Traci."

She continued to walk over to them, "It's fine, Lily and I have had a great time and before you panic the finger paint stayed on the paper!"

He chuckled, "Andy told you."

Traci nodded, pleased that Sam was smiling, "Yes, she found it hilarious that you were covered in paint as well as Lily."

"She didn't show it at the time," he lamented.

"Well that wouldn't be half the fun, she enjoyed watching you squirm. Apparently you did a very good job at cleaning the kitchen and she really enjoyed the romantic dinner."

Sam rolled his eyes, "I felt guilty about that for ages. I've also been a little more careful when Lily and paints are involved!"

"I know, Andy told me, she recounted your next painting adventure, and how you covered every surface with decorator's plastic dust sheets. Also how you wore a very fetching set of overalls! Andy was very impressed," she smiled at the smile that crossed Sam's face, before asking quietly, "How is she?"

"No change," he met Traci's eyes, "I don't know how long I can keep going."

Traci reached out and placed her hand on his arm, "You'll keep going for Lily. Andy wouldn't expect anything less."

He nodded, knowing that Traci was right; he could understand why Andy treasured their friendship. "Thank you, Traci."

"Now tomorrow, Zoe's offered to take Lily as I'm working."

Sam nodded, "I'm going to take Lily to see Andy tomorrow morning she needs her, then if it's okay with Zoe I'll drop her off for a while, there are some things I need to do."

"I've made you some pasta for dinner," Traci nodded towards the kitchen.

"I'm not hungry."

"Sam you've got to eat, if not for you then for Lily. She needs her daddy."

Sam nodded reluctantly, accepting the truth in her words, "I'll eat some when I've put her down for the night. You didn't have to cook for me though."

"I did, because if I hadn't you wouldn't have eaten and I wouldn't want to be the one explaining to Andy why her husband had lost so much weight whilst she was asleep!" Traci grabbed her coat and put it on, "I'll call you tomorrow."

"Night, Traci," Sam replied walking her to the door.

Traci turned as she opened the door, "Night, Lily."

Lily pulled her head from her father's shoulder, her eyes heavy with sleep and her voice quiet, "Night, night."

Sam looked down at Lily who was snuggling against him, "Time for bed, Munchkin."

~88~88~88~

Sam sat in the silence of their living room. He'd made himself eat some of Traci's pasta, she'd been right, he needed to eat for Lily, she needed him and Andy would be furious with him if he didn't take care of them both.

His eyes moved to the black and white photograph that hung on the wall. It had been taken about two months before Andy's accident. It had been a present from Tommy, a family photo shoot.

Sam hadn't wanted to have his photo taken and had been grouching, but Andy had been determined and reluctantly he had given in.

It hadn't been as bad he had thought, Lily had enjoyed playing with the toys and Andy's face had been lit up with a huge smile that lifted his own mood dramatically.

He'd reluctantly admitted the finished photographs were amazing and it had been hard to choose one to be enlarged for the living room. The photograph that they had chosen had captured a perfect representation of their family. The picture he was admiring portrayed Lily wrapped in Andy's arms, with Sam behind them, his arm draped around Andy's shoulder. His gaze hadn't been focused on the camera, but looking lovingly at his family.

Andy had been so excited when the picture had arrived that she'd insisted that she hung it. Fiddling and fidgeting with the fixtures for over half an hour, before she finally hung it from the wall. Sam had patiently let her work, not offering any comment until she'd stood back and looked at it. It hung slightly to one side; she'd turned to look at him, her voice low, "Don't say anything!"

He'd nodded, walked over; lifted the picture down, made a couple of adjustments before re-hanging it, "Better?"

She'd smiled, before walking up behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist, "Perfect."

Sam looked at the few remaining envelopes and picked one of them; he opened it and began to read.

_Dear Sam,_

_They say moving house can be one of the most stressful times of anyone's life. I think I'll agree with that._

_When we decided we needed a bigger home after we discovered Lily was on her way, we spent ages finding the perfect one. I know I was picky, but I wanted somewhere that was perfect for us, for our family. I think the pregnancy hormones might have had something to do with my pickiness! We might have spent the best part of three months looking but we found the perfect home for us in the end. Lily's room is perfect and she'll be able to grow up with enough room for her toys, dressing up clothes and other girly things she'll acquire._

_The yard's perfect too, with plenty of room for the swing set you and Dad are going to build Lily one day. Just remember by the time she's in her teens her need for a swing set will be ancient history, so I suggest you and Dad get a move on before she's too old!_

_Moving day was horrific; I don't think we've argued as much in one day. Anyone listening to us that day; would probably have thought we were heading for a divorce rather than moving to a new house. I would like to point out that you were particularly grouchy that day. I know I probably didn't help with your mood, especially when you caught me lifting the odd box or two. You don't know how frustrating it is not being able to help, you should try being pregnant! Do you realise how boring it is watching your friends and your husband move your life into the back of a removals' van. It was bad enough being on desk duty at work, but to be bound to the sidelines at home was frustrating. In my defence the two boxes I carried were light ones… I left the really heavy boxes for you, Jerry, Oliver, Dov and Chris. Even I'm not that stupid._

_Although when we were finally in our new home and our friends had left us, we certainly enjoyed unpacking and christening each room in our new house in our own special way. I think if I hadn't already been pregnant with Lily, there would have been a very good chance that I would have been after that weekend!_

_I love our house, it's definitely our home; the rocking chair you restored for Lily's room is my favourite piece of furniture, because of the time and care you took over it. I love sitting in the chair, Lily in my arms, rocking back and forth, watching her eyelids grow heavy with sleep. She won't be our baby much longer, she'll be a little girl, and my moments rocking her to sleep will pass. But because of you I have memories that I will treasure forever. _

_That's why I'm writing these letters too, to help me remember all the memories that we've built together, because I don't want to forget the important moments. One day I want to share these with you and Lily, but I'm not ready yet. Don't ever forget I love you, Sam, even when you're grouchy._

_Love always,_

_Andy_

Sam smiled as he recalled their moving day, Andy was right they had spent most of the day sniping at each other, even Oliver had made a comment about trouble in paradise, but after Sam had glared at him, Oliver had kept any further observations to himself.

Andy had glowed that day, even when she'd been truly frustrated with him. When she hadn't been watching he'd found himself looking at her, her stomach swollen with Lily, her hair tied up, with several loose strands framing her face. She had been full of excitement at the prospect of moving into their new house, the home they would bring their baby home to, the one that they would watch their child grow up in. He had been furious with her when he'd found her moving boxes, he'd been frustrated that she'd put herself and their child in danger. It had always been his worst nightmare anything happening to Andy and when he'd found out she was pregnant their child had been added to his nightmare scenario.

That evening though, surrounded by unpacked boxes, they'd forgiven each other and made up by christening a few of their new rooms. If he thought about it there were only a few rooms in the house that they hadn't christened and they had been the ones they'd identified for their future children.

Children. He smiled at the thought that Andy had been talking recently about the chance of trying for another baby. Lily would soon be celebrating her second birthday and Andy thought she would make a good big sister. He had been content with his family, but his heart had soared at the thought of having another child with Andy, he really loved having a daughter, but he also hoped that one day they'd have a son. Someone he could play football with in the yard. He hung his head, but for that dream to happen he needed Andy to wake up.

~88~88~88~

Sam woke up Andy's pillow cradled in his arms, his head resting against it; the comfort of her smell had relaxed him and helped him fall asleep. He had dreamed of happier times, moments with just the two of them, when her smile had truly lit up her face and he could envision nothing but a wonderful future with her.

He reluctantly stretched, releasing her pillow from his grasp, he glanced over at the clock and realised Lily would be awake shortly. Before he climbed out of bed to deal with another day, he said a silent prayer, hoping that someone somewhere would be listening to his prayers and help Andy to wake up and return to them.

A few moments later, he climbed out of bed and began to prepare for another day without Andy. At least he had been granted compassionate leave from work, he knew there would be no way he could have concentrated at work; he would have been worried about Andy. If he was distracted he would have been putting himself and others in danger and Lily deserved to have a least one parent caring for her.

~88~88~88~

Sam carried Lily into Andy's room and smiled to find Tommy sitting beside Andy's bed, reading to her. Lily clapped her hands together with joy at the sight of her Grandfather and called out, "Grampa!" excitedly.

Tommy turned to look at them, a huge smile lighting up his face, but not quite reaching his eyes, he stood, holding out his arms to Lily, "How's my Sweetpea today?"

Lily leaned away from Sam towards her Grandfather, babbling as she happily moved into his open arms.

"Any change?" Sam asked quietly, looking over at Andy who still appeared to be sleeping peacefully.

Tommy shook his head, his face clouding with concern, "The Doctor mentioned that there had been more brain activity, but they're not sure why she's not awake."

Sam shook his head, "I…" his words failing him.

Tommy looked at his son-in-law, he didn't know how he was holding everything together; he was doing a much better job than he'd ever managed when Andy's mother had left. Andy had definitely made the right choice marrying Sam. He shifted Lily in his arms so that he could place a hand reassuringly on Sam's shoulder, "If she could wake up, I know she would, Sam. She wouldn't want to miss a moment with you or Lily. You are her world."

Sam met Tommy's eyes, "She's my world too."

"And that's why you've got to stay positive," he sighed, "We all have."

Sam nodded and walked over to Andy, running his fingers lightly over her hand, hoping that she might react to his touch. His heart sank with disappointment as he didn't notice any reaction at all.

Tommy walked over to the other side of Andy's bed, Lily turning to look at her mother, "Mommy?" she said hopefully, reaching out towards her.

Tommy glanced at Sam and waited for permission, at Sam's nod, Tommy carefully rested Lily on the bed beside her mother. Lily crawled into Andy's side and looked at her mother's face.

"Mommy sleeping," she stated, her little fingers prodding Andy's face.

"Yes, Munchkin, Mommy's asleep, be careful," Sam warned carefully as he watched as his daughter rubbed her fingers lightly over her mother's cheek before replacing them with her lips, kissing her. Sam hoped that Lily's movements would wake her, but the longer he watched the more his hopes were dashed.

Tommy watched Sam's face and knew that his heart was breaking but he was holding everything together, just. Tommy turned his gaze to look at Lily, who was desperately trying to wake her mother up with kisses, after a few moments she looked at Sam and then Tommy, her face forming a frown that reminded Tommy of Andy, her bottom lip curling over in a little pout, "Mommy!" she demanded.

He noticed Sam's face cloud further with pain and worry, not only for his wife but for Lily, "Sam, why don't I take Lily for the rest of the day? We could go to the park and then maybe we could watch Ariel?"

Lily looked at her Grandfather, her eyes widening slightly, "Swings?" she asked hopefully; she loved the swings.

Tommy nodded, "We can go on the swings, Sweetpea, if you would like."

Sam smiled at the hopefulness in Lily's voice, reminding him of Andy's note and the swing set he and Tommy were going to build. "I was going to take her to Zoe's, but I know she'd love to spend the day with her Gramps, especially if she gets to go on the swings."

Tommy chuckled, "Andy used to love the swings, but we never had a yard to have our own. When Andy's feeling better, how about you and I build that swing set Andy's set her heart on for Lily."

Sam smiled, "I look forward to it, Tommy."

Tommy held out his arms to Lily and she quickly accepted them, placing her arms around his neck, before turning to look at her mom and dad, "Bye bye, Mommy!" She waved at Andy, "Bye bye, Daddy," she then waved at Sam, who was walking towards her.

Sam dropped a kiss on Lily's forehead, "Be a good girl for Grandpa."

Lily giggled her response, brushing a sticky hand on Sam's cheek.

"Come and get her whenever you're ready, Sam," Tommy replied, leaning gently towards Andy. "Now, Andy," his voice was stern, "It's time you woke up, there are a lot of people missing you." He placed a quick kiss on her forehead, like he had done many times when she was a small child. He pulled away; Lily still gripped tightly in his arms. "Make sure you get a break, Son," he said to Sam as he started to walk out of Andy's room, stopping to pick up Lily's diaper bag from the chair Sam had dropped it in when they'd arrived.

Sam nodded and waved at Lily, who was waving at him a huge smile on her face, "I will, Tommy."

~88~88~88~

Sam brushed Andy's hair, she'd always liked brushing her hair; he'd watched her with fascination every evening as she'd brushed it religiously before sleeping, well except for when there were other distractions. She hated it becoming tangled and since she'd been in her coma, he'd made sure he brushed it every day in the hospital. Every time he brushed her hair he hoped that she would wake up and every day he was disappointed.

As he brushed he began to tell her about Lily's day, "I got home last night and Lily asked where you were. I told her you were sleeping. Then she showed me her art work, her finger painting skills are certainly improving. She painted a picture for you and when you wake up I'm going to hang it on your wall so that you can see it and get better quickly, because we need you."

He gently teased out a tangle that had worked into a strand of her hair, "Lily's spending the day with your Dad; he's taking her to the park, to the swings! Her little face lit up like a Christmas tree when Tommy mentioned the park. When you wake up Tommy and I are going to build that swing set for her and I'm going to make sure you're both happier than you've ever been."

Finished with her hair, he placed the brush on her bedside table; staying seated on the side of her bed, as he sat there he noticed something protruding from underneath the fingers on her left hand. Carefully he reached over her and lifted her fingers, revealing one of her letters, it was the one he'd read about their wedding and honeymoon. He was sure he had looked after them all, but obviously he had dropped one. The letter was no longer in pristine condition but had been scrunched, as if her hand had tried to grasp it.

He held the letter as if he'd found the most precious item in the world, he looked at it adoringly; Andy's hand had scrunched up the letter. That meant she had been moving, if she was moving perhaps she was beginning to wake up? For the first time in what had felt like a lifetime he was beginning to feel more hopeful. Staying perched on her bed, Sam reached in his pocket for the next letter. Perhaps if he read her own words to her, maybe that would help her to remember what she had to wake up for.

Slowly he opened it and began to read, but instead of reading to himself, he began to read to his wife.

_Dear Sam,_

_Lily's first Christmas, now what an adventure that was. I always knew you didn't like Holidays, but I was hopeful that the Grinch in you would disappear for our daughter. Might have known that the Grinch was a little harder to keep away than I thought!_

_The three of us went in search of the perfect Christmas tree. I know it was cold, but I don't think Lily or I needed to hear your moans for the entire ride to and from the Christmas tree farm. Selecting a Christmas tree will become one of our traditions; we will go as a family each year and choose our tree. We will then bring it home and set it up in the living room and we will decorate it together. And reluctantly you have made a promise to adhere to our new traditions, and it was slightly easier when you saw how much Lily loved the tree. Well not so much the tree but the pretty decorations that hung on the tree._

_But one thing that neither of us expected that Christmas was for Lily to use the Christmas tree as motivation to take her first steps. I must admit my heart nearly stopped when I found her pulling herself up on to her feet, hanging on to the lowest branches of the tree to balance herself. We watched as she began to move slowly around the tree to pull at the decorations, giggling and babbling in her cute baby talk. _

_My heart did actually stop as she began to totter and fall towards the tree as she lost her balance, but thanks to you and your fantastic dive, she landed softly on her Daddy. Shame, though the tree didn't come off quite so well as Lily, because your heroic dive saved our daughter, but unsettled the tree and it fell ungracefully down to the floor, making a huge crash. _

_Again you protected our daughter, gently pushing her out of the way as the tree fell. I'm just sorry I didn't have a camera to capture your face protruding through the branches of the tree, a piece of silver tinsel hanging from your head. I tried not to laugh… but I failed miserably! Sorry! _

_The tree didn't look quite as impressive when we straightened it, but it was our tree. I hope this year's tree is a little sturdier, because Lily can certainly move now on her feet. Perhaps we'll hang the pretty decorations out of her reach?_

_Your face when she started to open her presents Christmas morning was priceless, you were totally amazed and in awe of our daughter. I have a pretty good suspicion my face mirrored yours, because our once helpless little girl was becoming independent. She loved ripping off the wrapping paper, tossing it in the air and watching the small pieces fall to the ground. I don't think she was too impressed with the presents, though, she was more interested in chasing the wrapping paper. Maybe this Christmas she'll actually enjoy her presents more?_

_I want to thank you for my present. It was more than I had dreamed of and I'm sure it was more than I deserved. The locket you gave me is perfect and I will wear it always, because inside I carry photographs of the two most important people in my life. You and our daughter. _

_I feel that I am the luckiest woman in the world to have met you, Sam. I didn't realise what I was missing from my life until I met you and allowed myself to love you. I might not be perfect and neither are you, but together we work. We might not be what everyone else considers normal, but I think we've sorted out what is normal for us. And I want you to know, I want to be normal with you for the rest of my life, because I can't imagine my life without you in it. I don't ever __**want**__ to imagine it without you in it, Sam. _

_Love always,_

_Andy._

As Sam stopped reading, he wiped a stray tear that was slowly running down his cheek. "As I told you that day, Andy, I can't imagine my life without you in it and these last few weeks have scared me, Andy. Really scared me. Andy…" he studied her face, moving closer so that his nose nuzzled hers, "McNally," his voice was harsher, "If you can hear me. I need you to wake up, because I can not imagine my life without you and Lily needs you."

He pulled back slowly and studied her face; he was certain he saw her eyebrow twitch, then he felt something move against his thigh. He turned to look; her hand was resting next to it, her fingers twitching slightly. Then he saw something that made his heart soar, her fingers moved, really moved, rubbing lightly against his jeans. In an instant he gently grasped her hand, rubbing his thumb over the back of it. As he touched her, she responded her fingers tightening against his. He glanced back at her face, but there was nothing, no movement, just her peaceful face.

"That's it, Andy," he cajoled, "You're coming back to me. Keep working on it, because we need you."

Andy's fingers squeezed his hand gently again.

~88~88~88~

_Hope to update in the week ~ Sairs_


	4. Chapter 4

_Sorry this is a little later than anticipated it's been a hectic week, where writing time has been hard to find!_

_Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to review, alert and favourite this story ~ I'm honoured by the support. :)_

_Thanks to dcj for the reassurance! :)_

_~88~88~88~_

_Dear Sam_

_Chapter 4_

_~88~88~88~_

Sam gently grasped Andy's fingers, rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand. "Andy if you can hear me, squeeze my hand," he almost begged.

He studied her hand, looking for any small movement. His eyes moved up to her face, he thought he saw her eyebrow move, "Andy?" he asked again. His heart began to pound in his chest when he saw her eyebrow twitch and he felt her fingers move in his, there was a chance she was coming back to him, "That's it, Andy, fight, we need you."

He continued to hold her hand as he reached for another envelope; reading to her was obviously helping to bring her out of her coma. He struggled slightly as he extricated the letter from the envelope not wanting to let go of her hand. Slowly he unfolded it, spreading it out on his lap; he began to read it to her.

_Dear Sam,_

_I thought being a Police officer was one of the most challenging jobs I'd ever undertaken. The day we were to be cut loose I nearly walked away from the force and gave it up. But Frank's speech and the thought of letting you down gave me the determination to make it work and I did._

_I may not make great choices all of the time, but then I don't profess to be perfect, either. But I love my job; I get to help people, even though most of the time I get to see them on what they consider to be the worst day of their lives. But I do make a difference, we make a difference. That's what makes our job worthwhile._

_But now I have a more important job, we have a more important job, the job of raising our daughter._

_Okay, so maybe we haven't got the balance of good cop, bad cop sorted out yet, but we're working on it. Can I please point out that Lily needs a daddy that sometimes says no? Even if she is looking at you with her big brown eyes and her little lip turned over in a cute pout. She still needs her boundaries._

_I know; I can almost hear you saying I'm just as guilty, because she learned the look from me. My side of this deal is not to use my best pout on you to get my own way. It's going to be difficult, but I'll give it my best shot._

_But, Lily is turning out to be a confident, happy toddler, who loves to explore. I just wish she wasn't quite as adventurous in the garden, well I think it's you that hopes she isn't quite as adventurous when you're in the garden with her. I think she's got the McNally outdoor genes in her, not the Swarek city genes. _

_The last time she was exploring in the garden she was thrilled when she found a huge spider, she carefully caught it in her hands, cooing and babbling with excitement at the treasure she'd found. What does any little girl do when she's proud of herself? She shows her daddy, you looked absolutely stricken as she paraded towards you on her unsteady feet, with the spider in her hands._

_When she thrust the spider towards you, I thought you were going to pass out, you went really green! But no, you were a brave daddy and you looked dutifully impressed with Lily's find and then you encouraged her quickly to release it. When she did, you sagged with relief._

_I saw it all from the kitchen window. I promise that I won't tell anyone at work about your arachnophobia, as I would hate to tarnish that hard, gruff persona you've created, that scares the rookies and criminals in Toronto. I'll keep it as our little secret._

_I never thought being a parent would be so challenging. Balancing everything. I think that when Lily was a little baby it was easier in some ways. She was totally reliant on us and once we'd worked out what each cry meant, she was happier and so were we._

_When she finally slept through the night we were far too exhausted to celebrate! But at least it wasn't a one off performance and she rewarded us from the age of six months with eight hours sleep each night. It can be hard when we're on different shifts, but we manage._

_Although now she's becoming more and more independent there are so many challenges I'd never considered. The biggest one was moving, I never realised a baby could move so quickly until Lily learned to crawl. I remember spending an evening clearing the entire downstairs of anything that Lily could reach whilst she was crawling. I won't ever forget the look on your face when you came in from your shift and found me laying on the carpet in the living room, surveying it from Lily's height, working out what she could and could not reach. After you'd stopped laughing, you did get down on your hands and knees and helped to Lilyfy the room. _

_A few months later we were on our knees making the rooms safer as she was tottering around on her unsteady legs. After the Christmas tree incident you were definitely taking no chances with her. Now she's steadier on her feet there'll be no stopping her, I think we'll find it hard to keep up with her._

_When she's asleep at night, I like to watch her, she looks so peaceful. She's not afraid of the dangers that are in the world, she's completely innocent, reliant on us providing her a safe environment. I worry though. I guess it's because of everything we've seen at work. I know the world isn't as safe as I'd like it to be, there are people in it that would hurt Lily, or us if given the opportunity. I guess it's a mother's job to worry about her child. One thing that I really worry about is what if something happens to one of us? Will we be abandoning our daughter? We wouldn't be doing it intentionally, but it is something that I really worry about._

_When I first found out I was pregnant I worried that I wouldn't be able to cope. That one day it would be too much for me and I'd run away, just like my Mom did to me. I had always run away from commitment before you grounded me, made me realise that I could be loved and that I could love. But I can cope and I am a good Mom, I would do anything for Lily and that's down to the reassurance and love you've given me._

_But what if something happens to me? It's an awful thought, but it could. Look at my first few months after being cut loose. I was shot, trapped in a burned out Laundromat and narrowly missed being blown up by a car. In our job accidents happen._

_I need you to promise me something, Sam. Promise me that you will be there for our daughter if something happens to me. You need to keep everything together. Sam it would be hard, because I know I'd be an utter wreck if something happened to you, but I would have to keep going for Lily, because she needs us._

_Now I promise to try and keep safe because the highlight of each and every day of my life is being with you and Lily. I may not have planned for my life to have turned out this way, but every day I thank the powers that be in the Universe that they gave me you and Lily. I wouldn't change anything._

_I love my life and I love you both._

_Love always,_

_Andy_

Sam dropped the letter into his lap and quickly wiped away the tears that were flowing freely down his cheeks, Andy had obviously worried about something like this happening. He inhaled deeply, his voice shaking when he finally spoke, "McNally, it's up to you now not to abandon Lily. She needs you. Who's going to teach her how to put makeup on when she's old enough?" he paused a small smile crossing his lips, "I know I said she wasn't dating until she was forty, but she needs someone to teach her and I know I won't be any good at that!"

"She also needs someone to talk about girly things with, because again, Hockey, Baseball and Football are in my remit of father/daughter chats," he leaned forward as he noticed her face scrunch slightly. "She will need her Mommy on the first day of school, to hold her hand as she walks into the classroom, to help her find her coat peg and to help her to find out where to put her lunch bag. She'll want to tell her Mommy everything that happened on her first day and you'll be able to write it down for her to look at when she's a surly teenager who's arguing with you because you said, no."

"There are so many firsts that Lily's going to need you there for; I'm going to need you too. I don't want you to miss a thing, Andy."

He rested the tip of his nose against hers, as he pulled back her eyes fluttered, "Andy," he said desperately. Her eyelids fluttered again before slowly they opened, revealing her chocolate brown eyes that he thought he'd never see again. "Andy!" he exclaimed his voice filled with happiness as he reached for her buzzer and pressed it firmly.

"Sam?" her voice was hoarse and barely more than a whisper.

"Yes, Andy, it's me," he quickly leaned forward and placed a kiss on her forehead just as he heard the door to her room open and several members of the hospital staff hurried in.

Reluctantly Sam pulled himself away from her and off the bed and stood in the doorway watching the staff work. Andy was awake. He almost wanted to pinch himself, to make sure he wasn't dreaming. He realised that his living nightmare was hopefully coming to an end.

~88~88~88~

"Well?" Sam asked, looking intently at the Doctor who had ushered him out of Andy's room and into the corridor.

"Your wife is making her way out of the coma, she may be a little disoriented and her memory might be a little confused, especially with events that happened prior to the incident. The key is, Mr. Swarek, not to rush her. She needs to take this at her own pace."

Sam nodded, "She's going to be okay, though?"

The Doctor smiled reassuringly, "She's awake, Mr. Swarek, that's a lot more promising than twenty four hours ago. She's going to need time to recover, her muscles will have weakened and as I mentioned we're not sure about lasting results of the head injury on her brain. Only time will tell."

"Good job I'm a patient man."

"I think every member of staff on this ward has recognised your dedication and persistence and with you at her side I'm sure Andy will make a positive recovery."

Sam smiled slightly at the Doctor's praise; he'd made himself an absolute pain to all members of staff, making sure that Andy got the best treatment possible and also making sure that he knew everything he needed to know to help her recover. "That's what we're hoping for."

"When you go to sit with her, she's still going to be very tired. Try not to overwhelm her."

"When will she be able to see our daughter?"

"It's important that Andy takes things at her own pace, a short visit from your daughter will be fine, but we don't want to tire her."

"Thanks," Sam replied, feeling more reassured about Andy's situation.

The Doctor reached out and gently patted Sam's arm, "It's going to be a long journey and Andy's probably going to be frustrated and she's going to need patience and understanding."

Sam nodded, "I have every intention of giving her that as will our friends and family."

"I'm sure you will, Mr. Swarek. I'm sure you will. Now if you'll excuse me, I have other patients to see."

"Thanks," Sam nodded, before turning towards Andy's door, for the first time in weeks, excitement building in his chest.

~88~88~88~

Sam slowly opened the door and stepped into Andy's room, a lot of the machinery had been removed from the room and in a way it felt strange, without the whirs and bleeps that had been his constant companion for the last month. He walked over to her bed, looking at her sleeping form intently; she looked even more peaceful and serene than previously. He thought she had slightly more colour in her cheeks.

Quietly he sat down on the chair next to her bed, studying her intently, slowly he reached out and gently lifted her hand in his, rubbing his thumb on the back of her hand. He couldn't help but smile when her fingers tightened around his, he instantly looked up to her face and was met with her brown eyes fluttering briefly before they opened and met his.

"Hey, McNally," he said, trying to make his voice as light as possible.

"Hey," she replied, her voice cracked as she spoke.

Sam reached over to the bedside cabinet and picked up a small glass of water, he moved it towards Andy and held the straw to her lips so that she could sip some of the liquid. He replaced the glass on the table, turning to look at her a smile on his face, "You took your time waking up, you gave Sleeping Beauty a run for her money," he teased lightly.

A smile broke out on Andy's lips, "I was waiting for my Prince Charming to wake me up."

Sam couldn't help contain the smile that reflected the happiness that overwhelmed him, she was teasing him; "I haven't seen him, guess he's having a break."

She rolled her eyes before her smile disappeared from her lips, a serious look crossing her face, "How long?"

Sam leaned forward in his seat, so that he could lower his face towards hers, his eyes looking intently at hers, "Over a month, Andy." His voice cracked as he spoke, "Over a month we've been waiting for you to wake up." He gently brushed his fingers over her cheek before trailing them up to her hairline, sweeping away the long tendrils that were resting over the side of her face.

"A month?" she asked quietly leaning slightly into his touch.

"Four and a half long weeks, thirty three days…" he continued to lean forward so that his nose gently brushed against hers, "I thought…" he couldn't finish his sentence, his voice cracking with emotion.

She tried to reassure him, "I'm back now. Lily?"

Sam smiled, "Lily's with your Dad, they're in the park enjoying the swings. She'll be thrilled you're awake. She's missed her Mommy."

"I'm sorry, Sam. I…" she paused for a moment, trying to think, "I remember going into the room… Oliver behind me… then… nothing… I didn't mean for it to happen…"

He silenced her with a tender kiss, brushing his lips gently against hers, his fingers tangling gently in her hair. He smiled into the kiss when her lips responded to the pressure of his, after a few moments he pulled back, tilting his head to rest against hers, "All the matters is that you came back to us."

She reached up and ran her fingers through his hair, "I'm sorry I took so long."

"You have always been worth waiting for, Andy."

She smiled, "I knew I had to come back for you." Looking at him intently she continued, "I heard your voice, I couldn't always make out the words, but I knew you were here and I had to come back to you, because…" she brushed her fingers over his cheek, her thumb lingering, brushing comforting circles, "You sounded so lost, but at first I didn't know how to wake up, then your words became clearer and you helped me to fight to come back."

He leaned gently into her touch, "You're here now and I'm not letting you go again."

She grinned, "That could make getting out of this bed interesting, if you're not letting go."

He rolled his eyes, "You know what I mean."

She nodded gently, "I know. I love you," she tilted her head slightly so that her lips could brush over his.

Sam grinned, "I love you too, Andy." He pulled back and looked at her his face turning serious, "But you've got to rest, Doctor's orders."

She pouted, "But I've been asleep for over a month."

Sam's eyebrows rose, "I thought you said that you weren't going to pout anymore, it was setting a bad example to Lily."

A frown replaced the pout, she appeared lost in thought for a few moments, before shaking her head; "I don't remember telling you about that promise."

Sam internally cringed as he remembered where he found out about her promise, "You didn't exactly tell me." He looked sheepish as he continued, "I found your box…"

"My box?" she asked a look of confusion washing over her face as she looked at him.

"Your letters," he admitted, altering his gaze so that he didn't have to see the look of disappointment that he knew was going to cross her face when she realised the significance of his confession.

"My letters?" she thought for a moment, her mind slowly connecting the pieces together, "You found my letters? Did you read them?"

Sam felt warmth running up his cheeks with embarrassment at reading her private thoughts, he nodded; "I did. You kept me going with your letters, you helped me cope. I didn't intend to find them, or read them, but when I started, I couldn't stop. It was the one connection I had left with you. I'm sorry." He waited for her to respond to his statement, his heart pounding in his chest.

~88~88~88~

_I hope to post the next part by mid week ~ Have a great day ~ Sairs_


	5. Chapter 5

_I'm sorry that you probably all thought I'd disappeared... but I moved into my new house and have spent most of the last three weeks unpacking. There was also a slight technical hitch... no Internet access, I had to be very patient and wait for my connection. Finally I have been connected and I can't believe how much I missed it! Especially reading all of the fabulous stories! So I'm catching up on my reading and here's the final chapter of Dear Sam._

_Thanks to dcj ~ your support and opinions are always greatly received._

_Also a shout out to Sunnycitrus10 ~ who PM'd me to check if I was okay after my disappearing act!_

_Have a great day wherever you are,_

_Sairs_

_~88~88~88~~_

_Chapter 5_

_~88~88~88~~_

Sam looked at Andy intently, waiting for her response to his admission. He would never have looked in her box if he hadn't been so lost without her. Her letters had been the one thing seeing him through the last few days, giving him a connection that he'd missed since Oliver had broken the news of her accident to him. He inhaled deeply and repeated his sentiment, "I'm sorry, Andy." A moment later relief washed through him as he saw a small smile grace her lips.

She lifted her hand slowly and brushed her fingers across his cheek, "I was going to share them with you one day; I guess it was sooner than I planned."

He leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, "Thank you."

She scrunched her face slightly as she asked, "What for?"

Sam grinned, "For waking up and for forgiving me."

"Don't worry, I'll be thinking of a way to collect."

He chuckled, "I'm sure you will."

A knock on the door interrupted them, Sam glanced toward it and smiled when he saw Tommy poke his head around it, "Okay to come in?" he asked quietly.

Sam nodded as Andy spoke, "Dad?"

"Hey, Sweetheart," Tommy's voice was filled with happiness as he walked towards her, stopping by the bed; he reached out and took her hand. "It's about time you woke up."

She smiled, "A girl needs her beauty sleep."

Tommy shook his head, "I'm just glad you're awake, Sweetheart," he nodded towards Sam, "He's been lost without you."

She glanced at Sam who nodded at Tommy's comment and gently squeezed his hand, "I know."

Sam looked over at Tommy, "Lily?"

Tommy grinned, "Running rings around the nurses, you know how much they adore her."

"Are you up for Lily to visit?" Sam asked Andy tentatively, rubbing his thumb on the back of her hand.

Andy's smile widened, "I can't wait."

~88~88~88~

Sam knelt down in the corridor and looked at Lily, "Now Mommy's still feeling poorly, so we've got to be careful," he advised his daughter, who was almost bouncing with excitement.

"Mommy?" she asked hopefully.

Sam nodded, "Yes, Mommy, but no bouncing."

Lily stopped bouncing as his instruction registered, "No bouncing," she repeated solemnly.

Sam stood and held out his hands to her, she mirrored his movement and waited for him to pluck her from the ground. When she was resting in his arms, he slowly opened Andy's door and walked in, watching as Tommy helped Andy to sit up in bed, ready for Lily.

"Mommy!" Lily squealed with delight as she saw her mother sitting in bed. She began to squirm in Sam's arms desperately trying to reach out to her mother.

Gently Sam lowered Lily into Andy's open arms and watched as Lily snuggled into her mother's embrace, babbling to her with excitement. Andy's face lit up as she hugged her daughter and listened to her chatter.

Tommy walked over to Sam as they watched Andy and Lily, "I was beginning to think we would never see that," he said quietly to his son-in-law.

Sam nodded, "Me too, Tommy."

Andy glanced up from her bed and saw her father and husband looking at her intently, "What?"

"We're just happy, Sweetheart," Tommy replied, walking over to Andy and Lily, "Hey, Sweet pea, why don't we go and find something to eat in the cafeteria?"

Lily turned to look at her grandfather, "Ice-cream?" She asked hopefully.

Tommy chuckled, "I'm sure we can find some ice-cream." He held out his arms on and waited for Lily to move towards him, when she didn't he asked gently, "What's wrong?"

Lily scrunched up her nose, "Will Mommy be asleep after ice-cream?"

Tommy shook his head, "No, Sweet pea, Mommy will still be awake, I promise."

Lily looked at her mother, "I'll be still awake, Lilybug," Andy reassured her before placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. "Now go and get some ice-cream with Gramps."

Andy watched as Lily tottered out of her room, holding her Grandfather's hand, chattering about the ice-cream she was about to get. Feeling Sam sit next to her on the bed drew her away from the door. "She's grown, Sam," Andy said quietly, as she reached out and grasped his hand.

"I guess I didn't notice, when you see her everyday…" he stopped as he felt her grip tighten on his hand. "I'm sorry; I didn't want to point out what you'd missed."

"It's okay, I wasn't here for over a month and things change, but at least I got to come back, I still get to see what's going to happen in our future."

He smiled, "I like the sound of that."

She looked thoughtful for a moment, "I don't want to waste any time, Sam. This…" she gestured to the hospital room, "made me realise that what I have is too important to waste. I want to spend every moment living my life, with you and Lily. I don't ever want to have any regrets."

"Me either, Andy. But first things, first, we've got to get you out of here."

Andy grinned, "How soon do you think the Doctor will release me?"

Sam rolled his eyes, "You've been awake for what four hours and you're already planning your escape."

"Well I have been asleep for over a month, I have a whole month's load of energy to use!" she winked.

"I don't think you're going to be going anywhere soon, you've not used any muscles for a month, Andy," Sam stated gently.

Andy pouted, "But I want to get out of here."

"I'll break you free as soon as I can, I promise," he replied before sealing his promise with a kiss.

Sam sat next to Andy on the chair that he'd spent most of the last month on, in a way he was going to miss the chair, but he certainly wasn't going to miss the worry that had clouded his life for the past few weeks.

"Penny for them?" Andy asked quietly, she'd been studying Sam for the past few minutes and knew he was lost in his thoughts.

He turned to look at her, a small smile crossing his face, "Sorry, I was just thinking that this is the first night that I haven't got to sit here and worry that you won't ever wake up. I've got you back."

She smiled, "I'm sorry that I made you worry and if I could change…"

He reached out and silenced her by placing his finger gently across her lips, "I'm not asking for an apology, Andy. I'm just relieved that I don't have to think of a future without you, I don't think I'd make it."

"You would, you'd make it for Lily. Just like I would if I was in the same position. But I hope that neither of us has to face that again, well not until we're ninety eight."

Sam grinned, "Ninety eight, huh? That's a quite a while McNally."

"And I plan on living every minute to the fullest!"

"I can't wait to see where this is going," he replied playfully.

"Neither can I," She grinned as she played with the edge of the bed covers. "Sam?"

He met her gaze, "Yes?"

"Did you read all of my letters?"

Sam reached into the pocket of his jacket; that he'd slung on the back of the chair before he sat down. After a few moments he pulled out an envelope, "I had one left…"

Andy looked at the envelope and smiled, "You kept them with you?"

He nodded, "For a while these were the only things that connected me to you."

"Would you read it to me?" She asked quietly, contemplating Sam's revelation that he had been carrying her letters with him.

A look of confusion crossed Sam's face, "Read it to you, are you sure?"

She nodded, "Sam, reading them helped you when I was…" she paused, thinking of a suitable word, "asleep. You said they helped you feel connected to me. I remember hearing your voice and dreaming, I think you reading the letters helped me to come back to you and…" she glanced at him, her cheeks flushing slightly, "I want to share them with you now. I realise they're too important just to keep to myself. I might not be great at saying what I feel, but I can write it!"

Sam chuckled and nodded, "Yes you can."

"So I want to promise you something."

"You do?"

"I'm going to share every new letter I write with you."

Sam grinned, "You're sure?"

She tilted her head to one side and returned his smile, "Well they may be a little censored!" she teased slightly.

"Censored?"

"I don't want you knowing every single thought that enters my head."

Sam shook his head, "The way you over think things, I don't think there'd be enough paper in the world to record all of those thoughts."

She batted at his arm with her hand playfully, "Sam!"

He grasped her hand in his and gently gripped it, "Don't wear yourself out, McNally, not if you want me to read this letter," he held the envelope in his hand and shook it gently.

She briefly pouted before remembering her promise, "I promise to lie here quietly and listen to you."

Sam smiled, "If you're ready."

Andy nodded, shifting slightly in her bed to make sure she was comfortable to listen to the letter, she was wondering which one Sam had left to read.

_Dear Sam,_

_I have never regretted a moment I've spent with you, even when you're at your grouchiest and you grumble at me. I learned pretty quickly that you're not a morning person, if you had your way you'd stay snuggled under the duvet until the sun was high in the sky. But a cup of coffee usually eases you into the world and you're more sociable when the caffeine has worked its magic!_

_It's always amazed me that people are scared of your gruff exterior, the harsh glances and pointed comments. You terrified most of my friends when we first arrived at Fifteen, but you didn't scare me. You frustrated me and pushed me in a way that no one else ever had. But you also let me see another side to you, the side that helped me to become the person that I am. The confident and self assured person who has the courage to handle any situation that comes my way, and that's down to you._

_My friends could never quite get why I wasn't scared of you, guess it was down to our first meeting and the fact that even though I'd blown your cover you still were gracious enough to help me. Although you probably don't know how hard it was to keep focused on our conversation in the locker room the day I arrested you, but you certainly didn't seem to mind getting changed whilst I was there. Guess it was just a peek at what was to come!_

_I thought I was being punished at first being partnered with you, but I soon realised I couldn't ask for a better Training Officer, because you taught me more than I probably would have learned from anyone else, because you're as stubborn as I am. You also have your own unique approach to police work and you taught me to be brave enough to do the right thing, even if it was colouring out of the lines._

_Thank you, those two words don't sound like a lot, but they are up there with the three words that I thought I'd never utter to anyone, but now I regularly utter to the two most important people in the world. Thank you for helping me to be a pretty good police officer, I might still run with my emotions occasionally and make a decision in the heat of the moment that might not always have been the right choice in hindsight, but I know that your training has helped me to do this job the best that I possibly can._

_There's definitely a side to you that I'm one of the few privileged to see. I love watching you with Lily. I know at first you were terrified that you'd hurt her when you held her, but you soon got over that and I loved watching you walk around our bedroom in the middle of the night trying to stop her crying. You talked to her in a voice that you saved just for her, making promises that I know you'll try your hardest to keep._

_Now that she's bigger your role has changed, but still I love watching you play with her, I didn't know you had it in you to enjoy tea parties or helping her with her dollies, but you're a fantastic father and Lily's lucky to have you. Just as I'm lucky to have you._

_I think the proudest I've ever seen you was when Lily called you 'Dada' for the first time. She'd been playing with her toys and you'd just come home after a horrendous shift, I think she knew that you'd had a bad day, because as soon as she heard you drop your bag in the hallway, she pulled herself to her feet and tottered over to you. She held out her hands and said, "Dada."_

_Even now when I think of that moment, a lump rises in my throat, because it was the look on your face Sam. It was a mix of awe, wonder and pride. It was the first time I saw that look, but it hasn't been the last, I see it regularly when Lily does something that amazes you. Even if sometimes what she does isn't exactly what we'd planned._

_Like the time we found her sitting in the middle of the living room surrounded by soil. She'd managed to use the furniture to reach the pot plant Sarah had given us as part of our housewarming present. Sarah's beautiful artwork on the pot shattered as Lily had pulled it to the ground. Lily enjoyed playing with the soil, her face covered in muddy patches as were her clothes. When we found her she looked at us with those big brown eyes and her daddy's dimples and we couldn't be cross. But that little adventure led to another round of Lilyfying the house! Guess that's going to be a regular part of our future._

_I guess what I'm trying to say in all this is that I wouldn't want to take this journey with anyone else, Sam. Sharing everything with you makes each day special. Even when we disagree, I know we'll get there in the end. Even if we have to agree to disagree! I want to keep sharing this adventure with you and I don't know where we're heading and it might not be smooth, but we're in this together. That's all I want is to be with you._

_Love always,_

_Andy_

Sam looked up from the letter and slowly met her eyes, "That's all I want too, Andy."

~88~88~88~

_Two weeks later_

Andy sat patiently on the edge of her bed; she looked around the hospital room, where she'd spent nearly two months of her life. She was finally being released. She was going home.

The sound of the door opening brought her out of her thoughts and she turned to the door, a huge smile crossing her lips when she saw Sam and Lily walk into her room, followed by her dad.

"Are you ready to get out of here?" Sam asked as Lily bounded over to the bed.

Andy nodded, "Can't wait to get home." She leaned forward and carefully lifted Lily into her lap, her daughter snuggling into her embrace. "It'll be nice to see something other than these four walls."

Sam chuckled, "You do realise you're replacing these four walls for the walls inside our house, because you're going to be resting for the next few weeks until the doctor tells you that you can move around on your own."

She nodded, "But they will be my walls and you'll be there and Lily will be there and I won't be woken at ridiculous times to check my vitals by unfriendly nurses."

"Well, when you put it like that," Sam started, "Let's get you out of here."

Tommy stepped out of the room and returned with a wheelchair. Andy looked at it pointedly.

"Hospital policy, Sweetheart," Tommy stated. "You want to leave, you leave in a style."

Andy's bottom lip briefly twitched, she was desperate to pout but remembered her promise, "Okay," she replied reluctantly.

Lily turned to her mother, "Can I ride, please?"

Andy laughed, "Sure you can, at least one member of the family will be happy to ride in the wheelchair."

Sam nodded, "She's used to it though; she still spends quality time in her stroller." He stepped forward and plucked Lily from Andy's lap, balancing her on his hip as he used his other hand to help steady Andy as she slowly rose to her feet, Tommy holding her other arm gently. Slowly they helped Andy into the wheelchair, before Sam lowered Lily back into her mother's arms.

"Okay, Lilybug," Andy said as she ran her fingers through her daughter's hair, "Let's go home."

Lily squealed with glee as Tommy steered the wheelchair out of the room and into the corridor. Andy laughed at her daughter's pleasure, she knew that she'd be writing a letter when she got home, cataloguing the time since she'd woken up.

Even though this had been a painful journey for Sam, since she'd woken up they'd decided that they weren't going to waste a moment of their time together and she was looking forward to every minute of it. They had been given a second chance to live life together and she couldn't wait to see where it would lead them.

~88~88~88~

_I'm thinking there will probably be an epilogue ~ I've got a couple of ideas in my head. _

_Take care ~ Sairs_


	6. Epilogue

_This is the end of this journey... I've enjoyed writing every word and I would like to thank everyone who took the time to read, review, favourite and alert. Your support is like the icing on the cake! :) _

_Thanks as always to dcj._

_I hope you're having a fabulous weekend wherever you are._

_Sairs_

_~88~88~88~_

_Epilogue_

_~88~88~88~_

_One year later_

Andy dropped her purse on the table, opening it; she quickly found the small envelope. Taking the envelope with her she went to their bedroom, walking over to the dresser, where she plucked up her writing pad and matching envelopes. She needed to write to Sam.

She made herself comfortable on the bed and began to write.

~88~88~88~

Sam hurried up the steps, before unlocking the front door. Andy had had the day off work and he'd missed her. As soon as he'd completed his shift he'd hurriedly showered and changed before heading home. He wanted to know what he'd missed.

As he walked into the hallway, he dropped his bag onto the floor, "I'm home," he called. He grinned when Lily scampered out of the living room, waving a piece of paper furiously in the air.

"Hey, Lily," he said as he took the proffered piece of paper from his daughter, "What's this?"

"You, Daddy," Lily replied, bouncing on her heels.

Sam looked carefully at the picture, pleased that Lily had told him what she'd drawn, because the large circle with two dots in the middle and a few squiggly lines protruding from the top; looked more like an abstract hedgehog than any resemblance to himself. He smiled, "Thank you, Lily, it's great. I'll put it on the fridge."

Lily nodded enthusiastically, "Can we do it now?"

"Yes, Lily," Sam replied taking Lily's hand and walking her to the kitchen. He organised the other pictures on the fridge to make room for the new one, quickly securing it in place with magnets. He picked Lily up so that she could admire her artwork, "What do you think?"

She turned her head to one side and scrunched her face thoughtfully for a moment, "Perfick, Daddy!" she cooed.

Sam chuckled, "I think it's perfect too, now where's Mommy?"

"She's right here," Andy said from behind them.

Sam turned to look at her, she was leaning against the doorframe from the living room, "Hey," he said quietly, trying to read her face.

She raised her eyebrows, "Your picture looks great," she replied, ignoring his questioning look. "Why doesn't Daddy get you ready for bed whilst I finish of dinner?" Andy asked.

Lily nodded and asked Sam, "Will you read me Brown Bear, Brown Bear?"

Sam smiled, "Yes, Lily," he carefully lowered her to the floor. "Go upstairs and I'll be there in a minute." He watched as Lily scampered out of the kitchen, a few moments later he could hear her footsteps on the stairs. He turned to Andy, walking slowly over to her; "Well?" he asked as he reached out with his fingertips and brushed a loose tendril of hair from her face.

She smiled as she stepped forward closing the distance between them, "I'll tell you about it after you've put Lily to bed."

"Andy…" he started, but before he could finish, she silenced him with what started as a tender kiss, but suddenly became more heated.

After a few moments she reluctantly pulled away, "You need to go put Lily to bed," she said huskily as her fingers danced gently over his face.

He nodded, "Then you'll tell me?"

Her face lit up with a smile, "Every detail," she lowered her hands and walked away from him into the kitchen.

~88~88~88~

She stood back and looked at the table, perfect she thought. Now all she needed was her husband. Just as she was about to turn back to the stove to check on the dinner, she felt him behind her, his hands circling her waist, his fingertips gently caressing her abdomen. His breath tickling her neck as he gently placed a tender kiss on her neck, "What's with the candles?"

"Thought we'd have a special dinner," she replied, resting her hands over his.

"I like the sound of that," he paused as he noticed a letter propped up against the vase of flowers in the middle of the table, his name scrawled on the front in her handwriting. "A letter?"

She nodded, "I thought you'd enjoy reading this one."

Slowly he released her and walked over to the table, "Can I read it now?"

She smiled, "I didn't think you'd be able to wait, I know where Lily gets her lack of patience from."

Sam scowled, although his eyes were lit with humour, "I was patient enough to wait for you twice."

She blushed at the look he was giving her, "And I was definitely worth waiting for."

He nodded, "Definitely." He pulled out one of the dining room chairs and sat down, he beckoned for her to come over, which she did and perched on his knee. She reached over and picked up the envelope and handed it to him, a serene smile on her face. Sam took the envelope and slowly opened it to reveal the treasured letter inside; he smiled as he began to read.

_Dear Sam,_

_I forgive you for not being able to change your shift today, I know you wanted to be with me today, but you couldn't. I missed you being there but I wanted to share with you what happened._

_Everything is fine, well except for one little surprise that I wasn't expecting. I hope you're sitting down when you read this Sam, because I needed a few minutes to gather myself too. Traci's face was an absolute picture… I swore her to secrecy! You don't know how hard it was for her to get a grip; she was almost bouncing in her seat when the Doctor told me._

_Sam, our family is definitely getting bigger. In six months time we're going to need the spare bedroom and Lily's crib. I was wondering if you could possibly make a second crib, because the Doctor pointed out on the scan that we're not having one baby but two._

_Sam we're having twins!_

_If we thought one baby was hard with Lily, we're going to have to do everything twice over! When I agreed to expand our family I wasn't expecting this. But I guess that's what our normal is, we can't predict our future and I've realised I don't want to. I want each day to be an adventure and since I met you it has._

_So Daddy, you'd better get started on making the second crib, the next six months are going to fly by!_

_Love always,_

_Andy_

Sam stared at Andy with a look of shock and surprise etched on his features, "Twins?" he asked quietly, his mind trying to process the information in her letter.

Andy nodded a small smile on her lips, "You look how I looked in the Doctor's office earlier." She arched her eyebrows, "You do realise that this is the last expansion to our family, I think three Swarek children is more than enough for Toronto to handle."

Sam nodded, still processing the information, "Twins," he repeated.

Andy leaned forward and kissed him quickly on the lips, "Twins," she replied, reaching to take the envelope from the table, pulling out a small rectangular picture, she turned it to show him. It was a sonogram, she pointed to the shapes as she spoke, "This is baby number one and…" she pointed to the second blob, "This is baby number two."

Sam looked at the picture and took in the tiny shapes of his children, "Two babies."

Andy giggled, "Yes, Sam, generally twins is two babies. We are having two babies, well I'm having two babies and you get to help me raise them. You do realise that two babies means twice the bruises on your hand when I give birth, don't you?" She teased gently. "And twice as many hormones swimming through my body."

Sam groaned, "It's going to be a long six months."

She batted his arm playfully, "Sam!"

He grinned and pulled her towards him, his fingers brushing over her stomach, "Hello, babies," he said reverently, "I'm your Daddy and I promise to look after Mommy for the next six months, even if her hormones make it difficult at times."

Andy laughed as she shook her head, before her look became more serious, "Do you think we'll manage two babies?"

Sam took in her worried expression, "Andy," his voice was soft, "We make an awesome team; we can do anything we put our minds to. How difficult can two babies be? We didn't have a clue when we started with Lily, but look at her now. She's turned out okay. This time we know what we're doing. We might not sleep for a while, we might drown in a sea of diapers, but we have all those magical firsts to look forward to, first smile, first step and first word. We'll be fine."

She smiled at his reassurance, "We do make an awesome team, don't we?"

He closed the distance between them, "We do," he mumbled against her lips before capturing them in a kiss that cemented his promise to her.

~88~88~88~

_Fifty years later._

Lily carefully pulled out a decorated box from her mother's closet. It was the last room to look in. She looked at the box and she was reminded of when she was small, her mother often put things inside the box, she'd told Lily it was her treasured memory box.

Lily took the box downstairs where her siblings were waiting for her, "I found it," she said quietly.

Her brother Jack looked up from the sofa, where he had been carefully wrapping ornaments, "I remember Mom's box," he stated thoughtfully, placing the vase he'd been about to wrap on the floor.

"Did you find it?" Ella asked as she walked into the living room from the kitchen.

"Yes," Lily replied as she smiled at her sister, Jack's twin. She sat down on a chair and reverently lifted the lid from the box. Sitting on top of the stack of papers was a bright blue envelope with their names carefully printed on the front. Lily picked up the envelope and carefully opened it. A single tear rolling down her cheek as she quickly scanned the letter, she looked up at the expectant faces of her brother and sister, "Shall I read it aloud?"

They both nodded as they spoke in unison, "Yes."

Lily smiled as she wiped away the tear, taking a deep breath before reading.

_Dear Lily, Ella and Jack,_

_If you're reading this then I know that I am no longer with you and I'm now with your Dad. This box contains all of my memories, the important times with Dad and with you. There are even some of Dad's letters in here, after he realised what I was doing he began to write his own letters to me. Trust me, children, they are just like Dad, short and to the point, but full of love._

_I had a wonderful life with you and Dad, every day was like a new adventure; that was filled with love and happiness. I know I was sad after Dad died, but we had nearly fifty years together. Fifty years that were filled with more love and happiness than I ever thought could be possible. We might have argued and disagreed, but we never stopped loving each other or you. You are my precious gifts, gifts I never thought I deserved until I met your Dad._

_Promise me that you'll read our letters and remember how much we loved you and each other. Try not to be sad. I had a wonderful life and it's now time for me to move on, to be with your Dad again. Remember I love you and the lives that we had together. _

_I learned to live my life to the fullest and never regretted the choices I made. I want the same for you and my Grandchildren. Promise me to live your lives the best that you can and to try and achieve all your dreams. _

_I am proud of you all and love you dearly. _

_Love always,_

_Mom_

Lily looked up from the letter and smiled as she met her brother and sister's gazes, "I think we found our treasure," she said quietly, as she pulled the first envelope out of the box, a small number one written in the corner. She opened it and pulled out the slightly tattered letter, she smiled as she began to read…

_Dear Sam_

_You're probably never going to read this…_

_~88~88~88~_

_The End_


End file.
